Halfway Awake

I have been up for two hours, but I’m only halfway awake. Some days it’s just really hard for me to stop sleeping, even after I’m vertical and have eaten and studied my Bible and gone through the whole morning routine. I suppose being up until nearly 2:00 a.m. doesn’t help.

This morning I hoped to get a lot of work done, but the challenging thing about doing intellectual work — that is, work that requires a mind fully engaged at all times — is that you can’t really do it while you’re half asleep. So thus far this morning, I’ve checked my e-mail and Facebook, stared blankly at the paper I’m supposed to be marking several times, and sorted a bunch of unmarked music in my iTunes.

I think I live much of life like this — good intentioned, but only half-awake. It’s that age-old “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” dilemma. I’ve often thought that I would have slept in Gethsemane too. The amazing thing is that Jesus stayed awake there, and He’s still awake, always, fully active in our lives. His fingers won’t ever slip from exhaustion. His vision doesn’t blur. “My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep” (Psalm 121:2-4).